A Letter to Anyone Who’s Tired But Still Trying

May 24

Written By Michele Edington (formerly Michele Gargiulo)

Dear You/Me/anyone holding it together by the last thread of belief,

This is for the ones showing up without being seen while you’re holding quiet dreams that haven’t bloomed yet.
For the tired hands, the trembling hearts, and the voices that still say “yes” when everything inside them wants to say “enough.” I’m here with you, and you aren’t alone in any sense of the word.

Let me say this as gently and as honestly as I can: this is the part that matters the most. This is where grit is born.

The Science of Hanging On

Grit isn’t just a feeling, it’s a structure. Grit is a neural path your brain lays down when you keep going even when you don’t want to. It’s a physical, chemical, and emotional rebellion against the instinct to give up.

Angela Duckworth (psychologist and author of Grit) found that perseverance matters more than talent. Her TED Talk has 27 million views for a reason, it speaks to the part of us that knows: we don’t need to be gifted, we just need to be willing. You can outwork anyone with more talent than you in any field, and I truly believe that.

Inside your brain, the anterior cingulate cortex lights up when you push through a hard task. You’re literally training yourself to endure every time you push a little harder. In meditation research, scientists have found that even sitting still with intention changes the brain. You can grow more gray matter with a dash of patience as you enjoy the benefits of being more present. Staying soft in a sharp world is strength, and never let anyone make you think differently.

Like I wrote in Why the Mind Leaves the Body During Trauma, we often dissociate to survive, but returning to the body, or tothe dream, the work, that’s not weakness, that’s triumph.

The Quiet Math of Showing Up

81% of bloggers give up in the first 18 months. Most self-published books never sell more than 250 copies. But bloggers who publish consistently (just 2–4 times a week) see over 3.5x more growth. These statistics tell us a tale about those who try longer and harder are the ones who eventually break through.

Writing down your goals makes you 42% more likely to reach them, so take out a piece of paper right now and do that. It’s more tangible and more specific when you write them down, which is always helpful. I write mine on index cards and tape them to the wall around my computer in my little tiny office. It’s not much, but just the simple fact that I can glance up and see them often also makes me feel more determined to reach them.

You might not feel like it, but every post is a brick in a cathedral. Every step is a step closer to whatever goal you have, and every effort is compounding in ways you can’t see yet. Compounding seems to happen in almost every walk of life, but people don’t talk about it a lot. Everyone glorifies the “overnight success”, but I don’t believe there is such a thing at this point in time. Everyone I know who had a “quick” rise either had an even faster fall, or they really were working behind the scenes much much longer than anyone else realized. People are quick to show up to congratulate you when things went right, but in the grind, no one is to be found.

In Why Baking Can Be Therapeutic, I said healing doesn’t rise like lightning, it rises like dough. The same is true for the life you’re building.

We all want those fireworks, but real fire takes time. J.K. Rowling was rejected a dozen times, Bryan Cranston didn’t become iconic until he was middle-aged. Colonel Sanders was 62 before his chicken went global. What they had wasn’t luck, in fact, I think they all lacked luck for a long time, no it was grit. Quantum Physics, Parking Spots, and the Strange Science of Luck.

It’s okay if it hurts and you want to cry in your car on your lunch break, sometimes that’s what growth feels like.

Grit isn’t shiny or cinematic, so most of us don’t bother putting it on display. The name itself doesn’t sound glorious, but like someone is about to hike up their sleeves and get dirty again. It’s in the quiet moments when you open your laptop instead of walking away. It’s publishing when you’re not sure it’s good enough, or sending in that grant application knowing your odds of getting it on the first pitch is around 1%. It’s your soul whispering “keep going” into the void and knowing that no one will answer you back for a long long while.

Grit is a routine, a ritual you build for yourself on your way to your goals. It’s the pulse that tells you your dreams are still alive in the future and can be yours for the low-low price of grinding a little longer. Sometimes, all it takes is one tiny thing to remind you that your belief still exists, even if it’s flickering.

If you’ve checked your stats or your inbox today and felt defeated, or you’ve posted and heard nothing back, you got 6 views on your YouTube channel, or you’ve written words that didn’t go viral, and you wonder if they matter…they do.

Someone else out there is tired too in the pursuit of their dreams. You’re not alone in your crazy dreams or the promise your brain gives you for tomorrow. Sometimes the people around you just don’t understand, and that’s okay. That’s why the internet brought you here, to someone who understands and is super proud of you. You’re doing things that others dream of doing, even on your worst days. You’re not doing it wrong, you’re just early, keep going and you’ll get there.

You don’t need to be perfect either, you just need to not give up and vanish into the void before your miracle comes.

A Letter to Anyone Who’s Tired But Still Trying

The Science of Hanging On

The Quiet Math of Showing Up

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The Disappearance of Lars Mittank: The Most Famous Missing Tourist on the Internet

How to Start Baking with Your Own Flour: Grinding Grains at Home