Why We Romanticize Burnout: The Toxic Myth of Glorious Exhaustion
If you’ve found yourself on this page, I just want to formally apologize for society because that means you were out there looking for articles about burnout. There’s a specific kind of tired that settles into your bones like wet cement and I think you’re familiar with it.
And I’m not talking about the kind that a 20 minute power nap will fix.
I mean the kind that leaves your soul aching and your teeth clenched in the darkness of your bedroom at night.
Yet…we wear it like a badge of honor.
“I’ve just been so busy.”
“I haven’t had a day off in weeks.”
We say it with a mix of pride and apology, some of us more than others.
Somewhere along the way, we stopped dreaming of slow mornings and started to glorify collapse.
Enough.
The Birth of Burnout Bragging
Burnout used to be a red flag that people would warn you about, but now, it’s a résumé line.
We romanticize burnout because we've been taught that rest is pure laziness and that slowing down is falling behind. As if we’re in some kind of race and the first to the finish wins more money, more fame, more honor. (I got bad news for you, the finish line of life is death).
It gave birth to the idea that the more frenzied we are, the more important we must be.
It started subtly, remember the #GirlBoss era? The hustle culture slogans started with motivational quotes all over Pinterest. The “rise and grind” mugs handed out at startup conferences.
Before we knew it, exhaustion became aspirational.
And it's actually killing us.
Burnout isn't beautiful, but we've made it look that way. We filter it with black and white images, caption about how hard we work, then package it as if we’re selling something.
That blurry selfie with tired eyes and a laptop in bed? "Still grinding 😅"
The sleepless night before a deadline? “Fueled by coffee and ambition.”
We’re exhausted, but we’re also performing exhaustion, because being busy is the new status symbol.
Burnout isn’t glamorous…not at all.
It’s heart palpitations at 3am, forgetting why you walked into the room, crying in the shower and telling no one because “everyone’s tired.” People are using their PTO in the United States now to sleep instead of going on vacations. Let that settle in for just a moment before I move on. Amerisleep.com surveyed more than 1,200 Americans to find that 37% used vacation days in the past year to catch upon sleep.
But if we’re all tired…why do we keep pretending it’s heroic?
Behind the Burnout High
Unfortunately for all of us, burnout can actually create a dopamine loop in our brains.
You overwork → receive praise → feel valued → repeat.
It's the validation, not the actual work part, that becomes addictive.
Another term for that is “trauma productivity,” which sounds nice and cheerful.
People who’ve experienced chaos or abandonment in their past sometimes find safety in being needed.
Burnout becomes a security blanket. If they need me, they won’t leave. If I work really really hard, then they’ll need me.
For many of us, the message is clear, they want us to be selfless, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, be exhausted because that means you’re being good.
I’m currently lying on the couch. I worked a double yesterday in a restaurant which means over 12 hours of being on my feet.
Objectively, I think I’ve earned this moment.
And yet…my brain whispers: you should be doing more. So here I am, writing on my blog, hoping one day my project takes off and I can monetize it.
That’s what the good old Google machine calls: internalized capitalism.
It’s the belief that your worth is directly tied to your output, and it’s why hobbies become side hustles.
Even rest must somehow find a way to be productive. ("It’s self-care!")
In a system that measures success by sacrifice, burnout is the ultimate offering.
Burnout and the Love We Didn’t Get
Not to go too deep on you too fast, but sometimes, burnout is how we try to earn the love we think we don’t deserve.
If I do enough, they’ll see me finally, and if I give enough, they’ll stay. Maybe if I work myself to the point of collapse, someone will realize they need me.
It’s sadly a trauma pattern wrapped in a neat little invoice.
We use burnout to make ourselves feel worthy…of attention, of praise, or of just existing.
And it’s shockingly reinforced by society everywhere you turn. You’re more admired if you’re exhausted and achieving…than if you’re rested and content. Then at least, you aren’t lazy.
What if we all stopped glamorizing the collapse though? I want us to recognize that survival mode is not a lifestyle, it’s a warning. Let’s stop asking people what they do with their time and start letting them just be people.
So Why The Hell Do We Still Romanticize It?
Because burnout has become a story we tell to make our suffering feel purposeful.
Society applauds sacrifice, not boundaries, and we’re afraid of what’s left when we stop producing and take a deep breath.
You aren’t a machine and you aren’t behind.
Call me a tin-foil-hatist, but I also believe society has shoved this down our throats to keep us too busy to notice what’s actually going on around us. In a world where the elite are ruling us all over the world, no one wants us to have idle time to wonder why we’re listening to everything they tell us? Why are we working so hard at our jobs pulling doubles while congress members who shall not be named are making millions insider trading? What about the politicians stealing from our tax money? I don’t care which side you’re on, all sides are doing it. They want us to burnout and work ourselves into oblivion while they pull some sly shit for easier lives for themselves.
Burnout won’t go away with a single vacation, it needs unlearning and unhooking that could take years to learn.
Start by defining your own version of success.
Not the Instagram filtered and fluffed up version. Yours. The one that’s personal to what it is you actually want in this life, not what everyone tells you that you want. Stop comparing what you have to everyone else around you.
Say no with no explanation when people ask for more of your time than you’re willing to give.
“No” is a full sentence. So is “Not right now.”
Unfollow hustle content, just please stop telling your brain that this is what you need to look like. Just no.
It’s not inspiration, it’s pressure in disguise.
Rest is productive and powerful. You need rest. Don’t let anyone shame you or make you feel otherwise.
Talk about this with others. We made the hustle culture go viral, the pendulum always swings. It’s time to make the softness of life take the spotlight. Share this post on your socials, tell people how you’re really feeling. Post your wins, but stop filtering them to make them look perfect or like overnight successes. It’s setting unrealistic expectations for those who look up to you to follow. Your honesty is worth more than the pretty lies.
Other Reads You Might Enjoy:
You Don’t Have to Earn Rest
Here’s your permission slip to stop, I’m giving it to you right now.
Breathe for a moment and go outside to feel the sun on your face and don’t post about it. If it’s nighttime when you’re reading this, go out and look at the moon or the stars, or watch the clouds float by and the rain fall.
You’re allowed to be gentle with yourself.
Work less and matter more.
Leave behind the toxic myth of glorious exhaustion and build a life that doesn’t need to be survived.
