Here’s Why Having a Good Partner Literally Makes You Healthier

May 1

I’m extremely lucky, and I know it. I have the most supportive, loving, sweetest partner who has ever existed (I know you’re reading this like, no I do!). My husband, Zak Edington is everything I dreamed of having as a little girl.

I’ve always known that love is good for you, but science just backed it up in the best way possible: a new study shows that having a supportive girlfriend, wife, or partner can literally add up to 10 years to your life.

Yup, you read that right.

Not a new skincare routine, not a miracle supplement, just having a partner who’s genuinely in your corner, cheering for you, supporting you, pushing you to be your best, can make you actually live longer.

If you stop and think about it for a moment, it makes actual sense.
We’ve always known love feels good, otherwise we would’ve given up on the notion long ago (heartbreak can be a real biotch).
But, it turns out, it’s also medicine for your mind, body, and soul.

Curious to know why a supportive partner is such a game-changer, and all the ways love shows up in your health (even when you don’t realize it)? Stick around, it’s about to get love-y.

The Studies

Long-term research published in the Journal of Health Psychology followed over 4,000 adults for around a decade. The researchers wanted to see how perceived partner support influenced health outcomes.

Their findings was that people who reported feeling supported, encouraged, and emotionally safe in their relationships had lower blood pressure, healthier cholesterol levels, better weight maintenance, stronger immune systems, and (here come’s the kicker)…they lived significantly longer, up to ten years longer than those in unsupportive or high-stress relationships

Let me say that again for the people in the back: your partner’s support might literally be extending your life. Choose wisely.

Wild, right?

But also…kind of obvious?
We all know stress wears the body down, and a good partner helps carry that load instead of adding to it.

If you’re looking for more reads into these studies, check out The Marriage Gap: Optimal Aging and Death in Partnerships by Johannes Schünemann, Holger Strulik & Timo Trimborn (2018) or Marriage and men's health by Harvard Medical School.

Why Does It Work?

Okay, so it’s nice to have someone who loves, cares, and supports you in your corner, but how does that actually save you life over time?

One thing it does is lower chronic stress. When you feel supported, you’re less likely to live in that awful fight-or-flight mode your body likes to put you in when things get chaotic at work. Stress hormones like cortisol stay balanced, which reduces inflammation and protects your heart.

Having a loving partner also helps with some added better health habits. A supportive partner helps you stick to healthy behaviors, whether that’s reminding you to go to the doctor, cooking healthier meals, or encouraging you to quit smoking!

There’s also something to say about having someone around who builds your emotional resilience. Life’s challenges hit differently when someone’s got your back. A partner who listens, comforts, and problem-solves with you makes hard times…well, less hard.

Good partners are also having healthier communication with each other, which can be a game-changer. Supportive partners talk things through. Less yelling = lower blood pressure. It’s science!

So it’s not just about romantic clichés, these are measurable, biological effects happening under the surface every day while your partner holds your hand through life.

It’s Not About Perfection, It’s About Partnership

Let me get one thing out of the way right now, your relationship doesn’t have to be perfect to be healthy.

We’re not talking about Instagram highlight reels or fairytale vibes (AKA fake love that isn’t real!). We’re talking about basic, consistent support by someone who listens when you vent, someone who believes in your goals, who stands by you even when you’re struggling, and who calls you out (with love) when you’re slipping back to your old toxic ways.

It’s that steady, safe presence that makes all the difference in the long run.

Even couples who bicker a little live longer than lonely, disconnected people. It’s not about being flawless (none of us are), it’s about being committed to showing up for each other.

Love Literally Changes Your Brain

This is the part I geek out over.

When you’re in a supportive relationship, your brain actually works differently. There are studies using brain imaging that show that people who feel loved and supported have more activity in brain regions tied to reward and safety, less activity in fear and threat centers, and higher levels of oxytocin (the “love hormone” that calms stress responses).

In plain clear English, love literally rewires your brain to feel safer, happier, and more motivated.

And over time, those brain shifts influence everything from immune function to digestive health to how well you bounce back from catching that cold your coworkers were spreading around like butter on toast.

Love isn’t just emotional, it’s also biological.

The Mental Health Boost

Like I mentioned earlier, a supportive partner also makes you mentally stronger over time.

Research shows people in strong, supportive relationships are much less likely to develop depression, more resilient after trauma (can personally vouch for this one, read about my severe traumatic experience if you have a strong stomach!), a bunch quicker to recover from setbacks, and way more confident and motivated in pursuing their personal goals.

And it’s not about a partner “fixing” your mental health, it’s about having a safe space where you can process emotions without judgment, and over time a supportive partner becomes a kind of emotional anchor, a place where you can regroup, recharge, and find your footing again.

Love = Accountability (In the Best Way)

We’ve all been there: skipping workouts, eating junk, forgetting to drink water, putting off that dentist appointment, saying we’re going to cut back on alcohol, the list goes on and on.

A supportive partner tends to gently nudge you back on track.

“Hey, want to go for a walk?”
“Did you take your meds today?”
“Let’s meal prep for the week.” (or if you’re me, just making your husband’s lunches and packing them for him!)
“Don’t forget your therapy appointment.”

They’re not nagging (listen up Zak!)…they’re invested in your wellbeing, and those little nudges add up over time.

In fact, studies show couples who prioritize each other’s health behaviors both benefit, they’re more likely to stick to healthy routines together, meaning your partner is part of your environment, and a good one makes it a healthier place to live.

Support Shows Up in Small Ways

You don’t need grand gestures or romantic movie moments for this effect to work (although those work too).

It’s the tiny, everyday support that matters, those “You’ve got this,” texts, “I’m proud of you,” moments, “Let’s figure it out together,” late night conversations, and those supportive “I believe in you,”’s.

Those little reassurances rewire your entire nervous system to feel safer, they quiet that inner critic, and build emotional strength you carry into the world.

And honestly, we all need that.

Does This Work Both Ways?

Yes! The research shows similar effects for men and women, across all relationship types.

A supportive partner adds years to your life no matter your gender, and here’s what’s cool: giving support is good for you too. Partners who are generous with encouragement and emotional care also show: better mental health, lower inflammation, and a stronger sense of purpose

Basically, love’s a two-way street, and everyone wins.

When Support Is Missing

Sadly, not all relationships are supportive, and the research shows the opposite effect when support is lacking.

People in toxic, controlling, or emotionally cold relationships have higher stress hormone levels, an increased risk for heart disease, weaker immune systems and get sick more readily, and higher rates of depression and anxiety.

So, basically, an unsupportive relationship can be worse than no relationship at all.

If you’re in a partnership that feels draining or harmful, it’s worth reflecting: is this love helping me grow and heal, or is it keeping me stuck?

You deserve love that lifts you up, not wears you down in the long term. There’s someone out there for you in this giant world who doesn’t bog you down, but lifts you up.

Love Is a Health Strategy

We talk so much about nutrition, exercise, sleep, and supplements for longevity, but maybe the best “health hack” of all is having someone who says “I’ve got you.”

A supportive partner doesn’t just make you feel better, they literally help your body function better, so if you’ve got that kind of love in your life, cherish it and nurture it.
And if you’re still looking for it? Keep your standards high.
Love isn’t about finding someone perfect, it’s about finding someone willing to build something strong with you.

Want to Build a Healthier Life Together?

If you’re in a relationship and want to prioritize health together, it can be as simple as setting small goals, like going for daily walks, trying new healthy recipes (for my house that means me cooking and Zak eating), taking supplements together (I just wrote about how Omega-3s are helping your brain regenerate!), and scheduling doctor’s appointments you’ve been avoiding.

Little habits make big differences over time.

If you’re looking for something simple to start with, I recommend grabbing a shared wellness journal. Something like the Clever Fox Wellness Journal. It’s a fun way to track health goals, habits, and reflections together (plus it’s cute and motivating).

Sometimes just writing things down together builds accountability and closeness.

Love isn’t just about flowers and date nights.

Real love (the kind that lasts, supports, encourages, and lifts you up) is a form of medicine.

A supportive partner doesn’t just make life sweeter, they make life longer, healthier, and more meaningful.

And science finally caught up to what we’ve always felt, which is that being loved well keeps us alive, and thriving.

So if you’ve got a partner who’s your biggest fan, hug them tight tonight. They might just be giving you more birthdays than you realize.

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Michele Gargiulo http://michelegargiulo.com