Patterns of the Wealthy: What Millionaires Do Differently

May 14

Written By Michele Edington (formerly Michele Gargiulo)

They say money can’t buy happiness (disagree, read here: Does Money Buy You Happiness?), but it certainly buys patterns apparently. Odd, sometimes contradictory, yet always revealing patterns.
There’s something super intriguing about the lives of the wealthy, especially the kind who still clip coupons, or wake before dawn not because they have to, but because they always have.

That quiet discipline and that wild excess living in one body and mind intrigues me.

Maybe my obsession today is because I like to believe it’ll be me one day, while I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to pay off my credit card statement before it’s due. I’ll be one of the crazy rich people who is carefully studied by others so they can try to emulate my successes (because of course, in my fantasy there are many).

Anyway, if anyone out there has a spare $6 million dollars, I’m happy to accept it.

What Millionaires Do Differently

According to multiple studies (some told through glossy finance magazines, others compiled dutifully by institutions) millionaires tend to share more than just their net worth in common.
They share habits, philosophies, and sometimes, they share a refusal to upgrade their coffee machine.

A survey from Fidelity Investments found that 86% of millionaires describe themselves as disciplined and frugal.
Not the champagne-in-the-jacuzzi crowd you’d expect. In fact, many of them live in homes worth less than $1 million, even when they could afford palaces. They drive reliable cars…Toyotas, Hondas, with the occasional used BMW sprinkled in.

Turns out they read, and like…a lot.

In "The Millionaire Next Door," authors Stanley and Danko famously noted that most millionaires spend more time reading investment strategies than watching financial news.
The wealthy lean toward books that challenge their thinking, not echo chambers of affirmation. Something I think all of us could really start to emulate, as our social media platforms have turned into echo chambers and it drives me absolutely insane. All of my friends seems to think that their opinions these days are the only correct ways of thinking. No one seems to think for themselves or even try anything outside of their comfort zone anymore. It depresses me sometimes.

Also, millionaires wake up early…like, 5 a.m. early. Sadly, this is when I might be going to sleep most nights.

A survey by Tom Corley (author of "Rich Habits") found that nearly 50% of self-made millionaires wake up at least three hours before their workday begins. What they do with that time matters. Meditation, planning, exercise, learning, whatever it is that they’re doing it’s intentional time. While the patterns of the time use might vary, it’s that they seem to have routines or a structure that doesn’t involve doom-scrolling on their phones.

These people seem to avoid impulse buys and think things through more than your average Joe before swiping their credit card. A lot of them seem to avoid debt like the plague (not all of them, a lot of them live off debt to avoid taxes, but that’s another story altogether). They also avoid short-term gratification.

That last one’s key for those of you out there taking notes. Millionaires, particularly the self-made kind, tend to think in decades. Not in weekends, not even in quarters, they invest in compound returns and are looking for ways that time works for them, not the other way around.

Which makes what they do splurge on all the more fascinating.

The Strange Splurges of the Affluent

While 86% of millionaires are married (and most stay with their first spouse) there’s still room for chaos. It often shows up in the spending.

A few notable habits include private wine cellars (climate controlled, and sometimes underground), which makes sense to me as a sommelier. Wine is an investment as much as it is a fun place to dabble. Wines don’t normally decrease in value unless they go bad, and having them properly stored just makes sense.

A few odd splurges I found online were for truffle-hunting pigs (yes, really), meteorite collections, and $200,000 dinners with endangered wines and menus printed in edible gold ink. I did go deeper down this rabbit hole in my article about how sometimes millionaires are spending more on completely niche indulgences if you want to check it out.

Another habit that more than one of these millionaires seemed to have was the urge to buy entire villages just for restoration projects. Now, call me crazy, but that actually doesn’t sound like a terrible idea to me. A lot of places seemed to be built by the super-rich then marketed well (Singapore), and made them even more money. So, this one I can totally understand again.

Two out of five isn’t bad, maybe I’m destined to be a millionaire one day.

Traits Millionaires Share (and Why That Matters)

Okay, sorry I got side-tracked with the splurges and weird spending things, but I thought they were interesting. Back to the psychology though.

A lot of these people have high emotional intelligence (EQ). Studies from the University of Cambridge show a strong link between high EQ and wealth retention. Millionaires often score higher in self-regulation and empathy, which are traits that help them avoid impulsive behavior, maintain strong relationships, and spot opportunities others might overlook. So really, working on your emotional intelligence in your spare time isn’t the worst idea you could’ve had today.

Millionaires are also really good at risk management, which is not the same thing as risk aversion. They aren’t afraid of risk, they just calculate it. Think of them more like strategic gamblers, we’ve all known one or two of them, right? I had a friend David who used to play Blackjack almost every day at the casinos and walk with $1,000 cash every time. It was super bizarre to me, but he truly believed he was a strategic gambler. He actually was a millionaire, but that’s neither here nor there. These people are more likely to invest in high-yield real estate or emerging technologies than splurge on lottery tickets. Still a gamble, but not as bad of odds.

Another study said they have a reluctance to broadcast their wealth. This is fascinating to me. The truly wealthy often downplay their status. They wear modest clothing, live in average neighborhoods, and rarely flaunt their possessions online. TOTAL opposite of what we’re all being fed right now by everyone on Instagram, right? Check out my article: Why the Influencer World Is a Fake Paradise (And How It’s Actually Dangerous).

And yet, these same individuals are behind massive donations, quiet patronage of the arts, or the silent acquisition of entire wine libraries.

That brings us to...

The Shift Toward Purpose

In another post about L'Épiphanie de Pauillac, I worked to capture something essential: the changing identity of luxury. It’s no longer about showing off (if you’re still showing off it’s time to pay off your credit cards), it’s about legacy, discovery, actually enjoying your life.

This same mindset is showing up in how millionaires spend, save, and live. They’re investing in regenerative agriculture, buying wineries not for profit, but for preservation, and even supporting AI in healthcare. Although, who knows, it seems like everyone everywhere is so hype about AI for no reason at this current moment in time.

Some of them are even building schools anonymously and helping with educating the masses.

The new wealth is quieter, and oddly enough, more rebellious.

Millionaires Who Break the Mold

Not every millionaire wakes up at dawn or lives modestly.
There are the showboats who live to parade around on Instagram and gain all the followers. The tech bros with cybertrucks and Mars plans (hello Elon), or the fashionistas with entire closets dedicated to designer sneakers are a thing too. I have no hate for them and can understand that they worked hard and deserve to have the nice things they want.

But even these outliers tend to reinvest or start funds. They build empires while they’re doing the glamorous things, they rarely let their money sit idle for too long. The myth that wealthy people do nothing is, quite honestly, super outdated. Most of them are addicted to productivity in a way that borders on obsession.

Let’s not romanticize too much here though.

With wealth comes pressure, constant eyes on you, and a lot of times, isolation. Many millionaires report feeling deeply misunderstood. Friendships get murky, trust is harder to come by, and children of the wealthy often struggle with identity…especially when they’ve never had to earn anything a day in their lives. I’ve seen this first-hand from a lot of different families. I’ve worked in luxury all my life, and have seen sons of billionaires struggle with addiction, have issues keeping jobs for more than two months, or depressive episodes that lead to attention-seeking behaviors. I’ve seen daughters of millionaires and billionaires struggle with self-esteem and become addicted to plastic surgery in their quest to be more beautiful, more secure, and have issues finding husbands who want to put up with their attitudes for very long.

It’s not all gold-plated bliss.

How to Think Like a Millionaire (Without Being One Yet)

Read more than you scroll. Please, use your brain. I’m begging you. It’s gotten to the point now where I’m frustrated having day-to-day conversations with the general public who just spews the same things they heard on Facebook. Do your own research and think for yourself. Stop letting others do it for you.

Invest more than you consume. I’m talking about a lot of things here, but in essence, try to live with more coming in than going out. Your time is precious and finite, so stop giving it away to anyone. Save from your paycheck. Even if it’s $20 per paycheck, your future you will thank you. Don’t spend more than you can afford, and I’m talking about time too, not just money.

Sleep like your future depends on it. That thing you carry around inside of your skull that makes up about everything you are? Yeah, it gets tired and needs to sleep. Without proper rest everything feels like it’s falling apart around you.

Set yourself goals that feel mildly terrifying. I have a friend who shies away from everything. I mean…everything. She’s scared to change jobs, scared to open her own bakery (she’s been talking about it for over six years now), scared to tell me she likes them, the list goes on and on. She tells me that things scare her too much and she’d rather not take risks. I try telling her those goals she has should be terrifying, it means they mean something to her. And she’s not alone. Think about your own goals. If they don’t scare the shit out of you, you might not be aiming high enough.

Be generous in private. You. Don’t. Need. To. Advertise. Every. Single. Good. Thing. You. Do. Okay, that might’ve been overly dramatic, but this bugs me. Live your life, don’t tell a story of your life while you’re living it. If you’re doing something for the clicks or views, it’s not genuine. Do something you never expect to be traced back to you. Karma is watching.

Wealth as a Mindset, Not a Dollar Sign

I’m hoping everyone reading this will one day turn into a millionaire, I’m really rooting for you. But in the meantime, let’s all learn quickly what many millionaires already know, that wealth is more responsibility than reward.

Simplicity is often the real luxury.

And gold, whether buried or earned, has a way of showing you who you really are.