How to Talk to Your Houseplants (And Why They Might Be Talking Back)

There’s a moment…usually while you’re watering your philodendron in mismatched pajamas…when you realize you’ve said something out loud to it.

Not yelled. Not whispered.

Something casual.

Something like, “Okay buddy, not too thirsty today, huh?”

You blink. Did you just call your plant buddy? Did it...lean toward you a little?

Welcome. You’ve entered the secret world of houseplant conversation.

And yes, it’s very real.

Maybe not in the they-have-names-and-backstories kind of way (although I won’t stop you), but in the sense that something happens when you talk to your plants.

Something subtle. Something mutual.

So let’s talk about how to talk to them…and what happens when you do.

First, Let’s Be Honest: You Already Talk to Them

Let’s not pretend you don’t.

We all do it. Especially the plant people.

“Ohhh no no no,” you mutter, watching a leaf droop dramatically overnight like it’s fainting in Victorian-era distress.

“Look at you!” you coo to the new leaf unfurling like a green ribbon, proud as anything.

It’s not performative. It’s primal.

We talk to what we love.

And plants, it turns out, don’t just receive our care, they feel it.

Science-ish: Do Plants Really Hear Us?

Here’s the tricky thing about plants: they don’t have ears. But that doesn’t mean they can’t hear.

Studies (like this one from Tel Aviv University) have shown that plants respond to sound frequencies. Some even change their nectar production when they “hear” pollinators nearby.

That’s not fiction. That’s vibration.

Plants are basically little green tuning forks.

When you speak to them, you’re sending waves of air pressure into their leaves. And while they may not understand your words, they do seem to react to your tone, your presence, your patterns.

This is less “Hello, Fern, how was your day?” and more “Hello, Fern, I brought the same energy that I do when I comfort a friend or scream-cry at reality TV.”

And that matters.

Talking Tip #1: Drop the Pretension

You don’t need to be a plant whisperer.

You just need to be yourself. Weird. Moody. Full of crumbs.

Plants like consistency. They like routines. They like vibes that don’t scream chaos.

So whether you're reading this piece on cosmic rays flipping computer bits or reciting your grocery list, talk to your plants like they're quiet roommates who don’t judge you for anything.

Because let’s face it…they don’t.

Talking Tip #2: Give Them a Morning Greeting

Plants are dramatic in the morning. They stretch. They open up. They chase the sun.

They are little green divas beginning their encore.

Start your day by walking past them and saying something as simple as:

“Hey babies, let’s make some oxygen today.”

You’re not just being quirky. You’re setting a rhythm.

Humans and plants both love rhythm. It’s biology. It’s ritual.

And it just feels good.

Talking Tip #3: Read to Them

Yes, really. Read to your plants.

Not because they understand Shakespeare, but because they enjoy the low, consistent vibration of your voice.

You could read them poetry. Or emails. Or even this piece about the hidden matter in the universe, a surreal little story they’d probably appreciate.

Reading slows your mind. It makes you stay. And in that stillness, your plants grow better.

(And if you accidentally start assigning each one a personality and horoscope, I won’t stop you.)

Talking Tip #4: Praise and Encouragement

Let’s talk about leaf praise.

Plants thrive on attention. Not just sunlight and water and well-draining soil, but love.

You think that monstera doesn’t know you gasped when you saw that new fenestration?

Tell it.

“Oh my god, you're STUNNING,” you can say. “Look at this new growth. You are a literal work of art. Who gave you permission?”

Plants are like toddlers, they love being the center of your soft, excited awe.

And I’m telling you: they glow under it.

Talking Tip #5: Apologize When You Mess Up

Overwatered? Forgot a window open during a frost? Left for vacation and came back to a graveyard?

Apologize.

Seriously. Say, “I messed up. I’ll try better next time.”

It doesn’t make you ridiculous. It makes you reverent.

Plant care is relationship care. It’s respect.

When you talk to them this way, you’re also talking to yourself. Practicing forgiveness. Practicing presence.

Okay, But What If They’re Talking Back?

Some swear plants can communicate telepathically.

Others swear they just know when a plant is happy, or when it’s asking for something.

There’s a word for that: interoception. It’s the sense of what’s happening inside your own body, and the way you tune into small changes in your environment.

When a plant changes color or droops slightly or seems to lean toward your voice, you notice.

That’s dialogue.

It’s not English. But it’s communication.

A Plant’s Love Language

Let’s break it down in the most romantic way possible:

• Words of affirmation → you telling them they’re gorgeous.

• Acts of service → consistent watering and repotting.

• Physical touch → wiping leaves or misting gently.

• Quality time → sitting near them while you work or meditate.

• Gifts → a humidity meter or cute new pot (affiliate link) that says, “I’m investing in you.”

They’re just like us. Minus the capitalism.

When It Becomes Ritual

Plant talking becomes a way to mark time.

You notice the small things, leaf curl, soil dryness, that tiny bug you will now emotionally destroy.

And over time, you realize: you’re not just growing them. They’re growing you.

They taught you to notice. To wait. To soften.

In a loud world, they are the quiet you didn’t know you needed.

The Science of Talking to Plants (For the Nerds in the Back)

Let’s nerd out for a second.

The Royal Horticultural Society once did a study where tomato plants were exposed to human voices. The result? They grew faster than the control group.

Some responded more strongly to female voices.
Some responded to music.
Some seemed to prefer silence.

But most? They liked human sound.

That’s not hippie nonsense. That’s science.

Plants have mechanoreceptors…cells that can sense vibration. So when you speak to them, they register it. And many scientists now believe that sound may stimulate growth hormones or stress responses that promote resilience.

Translation: talk to your plants, and they might toughen up and grow like green little warriors. Check out how they gossip between each other here!

Houseplant Complaints (And What They Might Be Saying Back)

Here’s a short glossary of what your plant might be saying to you:

• Crispy leaf edges: “Too much light, thanks. I’m not a cactus.”

• Mushy stems: “Ma’am. That’s too much water.”

• Brown leaf tips: “Is your tap water trying to kill me?”

• Leggy growth: “I’m literally straining to find the sun. Help me.”

When you pay attention, you realize: they’re talking too. Just in silence.

Funny Things I’ve Said to My Plants This Week

Just to make this feel real:

• “Okay, if you survive this repotting, I’ll never make you move again.”

• “WHY are you yellowing? We talked about this.”

• “Honestly you’re doing better than me, and I respect that.”

• “You grew a whole leaf in two days? Overachiever.”

Noticing is a Superpower

We talk to plants because they remind us to notice. Not just them, but ourselves.

How we show up. What we prioritize. How much we rush.

A plant doesn’t rush.

A plant doesn’t scroll.

A plant just grows…quietly, consistently, in full trust that the light will come again.

And when we talk to them, we remember a little more of who we are.

Want to Start?

If you’re just beginning your houseplant journey, pick a plant with a little patience, like a pothos or a snake plant.

Give it a name if you want. Or don’t. But do this: show up for it.

Water it. Move it if it’s not happy. Talk to it when you feel weird or tired or proud.

It’ll be your green therapist. Your cohabitant. Your quiet cheerleader.

And you’ll become its weather system.

Leaf-Tossing Thoughts

You don’t need to know Latin names.

You don’t need a greenhouse or an Instagram with perfect jungle-core lighting.

You just need a little wonder. A little weirdness. A little willingness to say,
“Hi plant. I see you.”

Because they see you too.

And in this strange, tender world of ours, maybe that’s enough.

Love learning about plants?
Check out this article about how some plants we are engineering to glow in the dark!
Or this one that tells you which plants purify the air best in your home!